Let's Understand what Compassion Fatigue is

Compassion Fatigue was coined by Charles Figley in the 1980s and refers to a set of negative psychological symptoms that caregivers experience in the course of their work while being exposed to direct traumatic events or through secondary trauma. 

Compassion fatigue is an erosive process, not attributed to a single exposure to trauma. It is the result of ongoing, repeated exposure to traumatic situations, whether direct or indirect. Over time, the act of providing care in the context of human suffering and trauma wears down the individual's psychological resilience, leaving the care worker in a combined state of burnout that leads to more serious mental health conditions such PTSD, anxiety or depression. 

Essentially, the continuous exposure to the trauma of others may lead care work professionals to manifest the same or similar symptoms as the trauma survivors they have helped. 

This places many occupations such as law enforcement, first responders, healthcare professionals, teachers, and community service workers right in the crosshairs if they have the risk factors to be affected by it. Between 40% and 85% of helping professionals develop vicarious trauma, compassion fatigue and/or high rates of traumatic symptoms, according to compassion fatigue expert Francoise Mathieu. 

During a TED Talk in 2017, Patricia Smith, the founder of the Compassion Fatigue Awareness project, had this to say,

“Caregivers are not good at asking for help. Asking for help is hard, no matter who you are. For nurses, doctors, teachers and more, the idea of leaving work can seem like an impossibility. You may feel guilty or that you are abandoning your patients or students. But if you are struggling with drug or alcohol use, you need help too. Your clients, patients and students will be happy for you.” 

Some common signs of compassion fatigue include exhaustion, anger and irritability, negative coping behaviors such as alcohol or drug abuse, emotional detachment or numbness, burnout, and impaired decision-making abilities.

So how can you prevent compassion fatigue from taking over your life? Here are some key things to keep in mind:

1. Take care of your own well-being: As a caregiver, it's natural to put others' needs before your own. However, it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and physical health to avoid reaching a breaking point.

2. Acknowledge your limitations: You're only human, and there's only so much you can do. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it or delegate tasks if possible.

3. Practice self-care: Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Whether it's exercising, reading a book, or spending time with loved ones, self-care is essential for recharging your emotional batteries.

4. Don't ignore warning signs:

• Depression
• Frustration
• Feelings of uselessness
• Cynicism
• Feeling disconnected from others
• Worries you’re failing at your job
• Constantly feeling exhausted or tired
• Feeling the need to drink alcohol or do drugs

If you notice any of the warning signs mentioned above, don't brush them off. Address them and seek help before they escalate. Seek help from resources like supervisors, peer-support groups, or clinical practitioners before it becomes too overwhelming.

Compassion fatigue may be a common occurrence in caregiving professions, but it doesn't have to take control of your life.

*****

How do you handle compassion fatigue?  

We value your feedback and ideas! 

Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Rumors about PTSD that are NOT true

 

Unfortunately, there are many rumors about PTSD that are NOT true, and here is one we hear often: "People who have a history of trauma cannot be high-functioning members of society." Let's talk about why this is a load of bull:

When we define trauma and what someone with a trauma history looks like, we often miss out on seeing the truth of their personal history. We expect to see someone showing some form of self-destructive behavior in an attempt to self-sooth. But that is not always the case. 

Trauma is often thought of as an isolated event: a car crash, sexual assault, or maybe something happening during military service. While singular events can be traumatic, we’re ignoring a whole host of ongoing situations and relational traumas a person can experience. Many of which are outlined in Acknowledge and Heal: A Women-Focused Guide To Understanding PTSD 

When a person is exposed to ongoing trauma, their mind tries to adapt. It’s the brain’s job to keep us alive, so in situations where we cannot escape our trauma, the brain switches from fight or flight, or to a more adaptive "tend and befriend" mode, allowing us to remain as safe as possible in the ongoing traumatic situation. 

In short, we develop coping mechanisms to keep everything peaceful. And, as long as things are relatively calm in our lives, we appear “normal.” 

In some cases, our focus is shifted outward, toward the things we can control: grades, promotions, seeking independence, and financial security. Many trauma survivors become fiercely independent because of the betrayal of the trauma they experienced left them knowing the only person they could rely on was themselves (e.g. a former child of abusive or neglectful parents). To a spectator, these individuals seem like they have it all together. They couldn’t possibly be struggling with PTSD, right? 

Wrong. 

If they have had to lean on self-sufficiency for survival, it is likely that by the time they desperately need help, they have perfected their mask of indifference and fortified their emotional barriers to the point that they have become reflexes. No longer aware of the walls they throw up, these people can be very difficult to diagnose. 

Either way the pendulum swings, self-destructive or super high-functioning, the person who has experienced trauma (singular or ongoing) is attempting to compensate for it. And that may work for them for many years, until it doesn’t. 

The bottom line is that being outwardly high-functioning and needing trauma recovery work are not mutually exclusive. Just because someone appears to be high functioning, it doesn’t mean they don’t suffer.

What is your experience with high-functioning PTSD? 

We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Surviving the July 4th celebration with a Narcissistic Family

Holidays are a time when family gets together to celebrate, and July 4th (at least in America) is the biggest mid-year celebration and a reason many families will get together. 

But for those of us who grew up in narcissistic families, this makes any gathering a time we dread. 

First understand what narcissism is and how the disorder presents. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a psychological personality disorder, defined by The DSM-5, characterized by an inflated sense of one’s own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.  

Because we’re not diagnosing anyone in this blog, we won’t go into the lengthy definition of this disorder. What we want to focus on, however, are the key traits, because they do an excellent job illustrating how this disorder applies to the abuse that narcissistic caregivers can cause us. 

Lack Of Empathy 

In other words. The narcissist neither cares nor wants to understand how other people feel. 

Grandiose Sense Of Self-Importance 

In other words. The narcissist lives in a fantasy world of their own creation. One where they are the center of attention and the most important person. 

Need For Excessive Admiration 

In other words. The narcissist is often covering for some deep emotional wound, and in order to avoid the pain of it, they constantly need praise and approval to keep their spirits up. With this trait, the person with NPD will surround themselves with others who constantly boost their ego. They do not; however, reciprocate. 

Sense Of Entitlement 

In other words. The narcissist expects favorable treatment. Those who do not meet their expectations are treated with aggression and outrage. 

Exploitative Behavior 

In other words. The narcissist will only surround themselves with people who do and say what they want. This becomes their standard. Their circle exists to serve them, and they do not think twice about using their people to get what they want. 

Envious Of Others 

In other words. The narcissist may patronize or dismiss the value of others whom they are secretly envious of. Or they attack with insults, bullying, or other forms of character assassination to neutralize the threat.

Whether you deal with these toxic family members on a regular basis or have to brave a family get together, lets have a plan so we can avoid seriously derailing our mental and emotional health this holiday season.

Accept that they haven’t changed: 

Let's face it, trying to reason with a narcissist is like trying to teach a fish how to ride a bicycle. It's pointless and only leads to more frustration. Instead, sit back and observe their antics like you're watching a soap opera.

Limit the time you spend with them:

Don't be afraid to put your foot down and limit your time with these toxic individuals. Make it clear that you have other commitments (even if it's just Netflix) and stick to your guns. If they get upset with that, that's OK because that's your boundary that you're setting. 

Find the people you enjoy being around:

Maybe you have a narcissistic father, but you really love being around your nieces or nephews. Try to find time with those specific people or loved ones that are most important to you. 

Set realistic expectations: 

Let go of any expectations of a perfect family gathering because let's be real, when has that ever happened? Embrace imperfection and focus on enjoying yourself however you can.

Make time for you:

Don't forget to take care of yourself amidst all the chaos. Sneak away for some alone time or treat yourself to something special. You deserve it.

*****

Did you survive a narcissistic caregiver? 

We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD