WARNING: Retirement and Separation from Peer Support is a cause for Loneliness and Isolation among First Responders

 

You might be thinking 50 years old or older when I say retirement, however, for professions like first responders, early retirements due to unforeseen circumstances are common. But retirement for these individuals can be a difficult transition, as their work has been a major source of purpose and identity. First responders, whether police officers, firefighters, or EMS professionals, chose their careers to serve and help others in their communities. And with that comes a unique bond among peers who understand the daily struggles and crises they face on the job.

But when retirement comes, this connection is lost and many first responders find themselves feeling isolated from the world they once belonged to. This isolation can also trigger a loss of identity, as these individuals are used to following strict protocols and being part of a structured environment. Suddenly having all the time and freedom in the world can be overwhelming and bring up memories from their time on the job. 

Apart from the loss of purpose, one of the biggest reasons why retired first responders experience mental health crises is unresolved trauma from their time on the job.

When they were on daily calls, debriefs at the end were helpful for them, offering a chance to discuss situations and bring fears and concerns out to others who understood the mental and physical toll. But after retirement, first responders often struggle to process their trauma without being able to speak with those who understand. 

Retirees may be able to speak to family and friends about their experiences, their loved ones may struggle to understand their perspective and can get traumatized as well.

The consequences of this new loneliness, and isolation from their former work and friends is profound, and can intensify the emotional weight they’ve already carried leading to a sense of hopelessness. 

Untreated, this emotional turmoil can manifest in issues with physical health too. 

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

WARNING: The Breakdown of Intimate Relationships is a Cause for Loneliness and Isolation among First Responders

 

First responders are some of the bravest individuals in our communities, risking their lives daily to protect and serve. But with such a demanding and high-stress job, their intimate relationships can suffer. Studies have shown that divorce rates among first responders are significantly higher than the national average - up to 60-75% according to research from the First Responder's Initiative. This is due to the long hours, night shifts, and work on holidays that disrupt family dynamics and make it difficult for first responders to spend quality time with their loved ones. And when they do come home, they may be hesitant to share details about their work due to confidentiality or not wanting to burden their spouse with vicarious trauma. This lack of communication and compartmentalizing can lead to trust issues and strain on the relationship. While many first responders are able to maintain successful relationships, it's important for them to establish open communication, provide mutual support, and seek help when needed to maintain them. Because when this relationship breaks down or ends in divorce, it can have a serious impact on a first responder's well-being and emotional stability.

Intimate relationships are the closest and cut the deepest. They’re like the front lines in a first responder’s social support network. 

Divorce can be an incredibly difficult and emotional experience for anyone. But for first responders, who already face high levels of stress and trauma in their line of work, it can have an even more devastating impact on their mental wellbeing. Not only do they lose a partner, but often the breakdown of a family unit means losing children as well. And it's not just about losing loved ones - divorce can also sever important social support networks, including in-laws and mutual friends.

Without the support of a partner, family, or close friends, first responders may find themselves feeling isolated and struggling to cope

When social support systems are chipped away, so too is that protection against symptoms of depression, PTSD, anxiety and other psychiatric disorders.

In situations like these, It’s crucial to have access to peer support groups or group therapy in these cases, and connect with others who understand the unique challenges divorce presents. By seeking this kind of support, first responders can find solace in knowing they are not alone and receive valuable advice from those who have walked in their shoes. 

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

WARNING: The Breakdown or Loss of Friendships is a cause for Loneliness and Isolation among First Responders

 

      As first responders enter their career, they often have a close-knit group of friends that is separate from their work peers. But as they become more immersed in the demands of their job, they may find themselves sacrificing personal time and hobbies in order to fulfill their duty. This can lead to a natural distance between friends, making it difficult to maintain a strong social life.

However, studies have shown the importance of maintaining a social network for first responders. Those with larger networks and strong social support tend to experience less stress and better mental health overall. This concept, known as the "stress-buffering hypothesis," suggests that having a strong support system can help reduce negative thoughts and beliefs following a traumatic experience.

But for many first responders, maintaining these friendships can be challenging. Their demanding schedules and confidentiality obligations make it hard to connect with friends who haven't experienced similar situations. There is also a sense that others may not fully understand what they've been through, leading to a feeling of disconnection.

Despite these challenges, these friendships are crucial for first responders because they offer an outlet outside of work.

These friendships, though somewhat disconnected, are vital because they provide camaraderie that allows the first responder to fully disengage from the stress and trauma experienced on the job. Schedule difficulties aside, time and effort to maintain these friendships is essential or they will dwindle. And that means losing important social support, outside of the workplace.

A healthy social network includes variety, so while our first set of friends is crucial, we can’t discount the importance of peers and work friends. Brothers and sisters on your team. 

The bond first responders share is like no other. The things they go through and see together help them feel understood and often distant from others. It’s common for first responders to slowly see their original friend group narrow as their work friends increase, but both are equally vital. 

These friendships provide camaraderie that allows the first responder to feel understood through the stress and trauma experienced on the job.

But though the bond between peers is unique in its forged through fire strength, it can quickly disappear when individual is no longer a part of the day to day of the department due to leave, transfers, injuries, early retirements, etc. The circle a first responder surrounds themselves with at work can sometimes be a false sense of security because dealing with trauma means one can never know what next shift might bring and losses on the job are not uncommon. 

This is why it's essential for first responders to intentionally build a large social network both within and outside of their workplace.

First responders have to navigate and process some of the most difficult and traumatic situations imaginable... on a daily basis. There’s not enough sleeping or eating right in the world that is going to fortify a person against the effects of trauma like that. To borrow a phrase, “it takes a village.”

When relationships breakdown or dwindle, so too does the protection that the social network provides.

Poor social support has been linked to depression, loneliness & isolation, and has been shown to alter brain function and increase the risk of the following:

·       Alcohol use

·       Cardiovascular disease

·       Depression

·       Suicide

      Social support is vital for our well being. If you find yourself pulling away from your group, this is your sign to reach out for help.

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Loneliness and Isolation

 

In today's world, we often overlook loneliness and isolation as trivial concerns. But the truth is, these are critical symptoms of an eroded social support network that can have serious impacts on our physical and mental health.

For first responders, this issue hits even closer to home. The nature of their work – constantly facing life-threatening situations, dealing with trauma, and maintaining unpredictable schedules – can take a toll on their personal lives. It becomes challenging to nurture and sustain meaningful relationships when their duties consume so much of their time and energy.

But why is this such a pressing issue? Research has shown that social support not only helps us cope with tough times but also plays a vital role in promoting mental wellness. When we lack social support, we become more vulnerable to experiencing symptoms of depression, PTSD, anxiety, and other psychiatric disorders – all of which are already prevalent among first responders.

So, what exactly causes this sense of loneliness and isolation among first responders? One major factor is the breakdown of close relationships or losing people from one's support network. Additionally, stigma surrounding mental health issues often discourages first responders from seeking help, leading to neglecting their own well-being. 

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Survivors Guilt: The Shame of Being the One who Lived

  

One of the most significant causes of first responder trauma is guilt. This is often linked to compassion fatigue or high levels of empathizing with victims, but the guilt often comes from feeling helpless or even shame over surviving. The simple fact is that first responders encounter death in the course of their work. 

When there’s an emergency, first responders are the ones heading to the action, actively trying to prevent the loss of life or a traumatic outcome. They're faced with harrowing scenarios such as car accidents, mass casualties, and building fires where they cannot save everyone.  

Survivor’s guilt is a difficult emotion to navigate through, especially for first responders, because they’re more inclined to experience a heightened amount of traumatic events compared to the general population. 

Survivor’s guilt takes the form of a firefighter feeling guilty about not being able to save a life while risking their own in the blaze of fire, an EMT whose patient dies en route to hospital, a police officer whose partner, standing inches away, took a bullet that was meant for them. 

Feeling lucky to be alive is an emotion many of us might not associate with guilt. Some may not even realize they are experiencing it, or they struggle to recognize that the weight they are carrying alongside their grief is actually a sense of guilt. 

Be aware of the signs

Some signs that indicate a person may be struggling with survivor’s guilt. If they’re expressing any of the following thoughts or making these comments after a traumatic event:

“I don’t deserve help when someone else needs it more than me.”

“I keep thinking if only I had…”

“I feel like there was more I could have done.”

“I should have…”

“Why was I the one that survived?”

“I’m so angry at myself for not trying harder.” 

“How can I be happy when all those others who died cannot?”

“Why should I enjoy life experiences when they can’t?”

When faced with loss or trauma, this guilt can consume us, leading to self-destructive coping mechanisms such as substance abuse. We may also feel unworthy of receiving help and finding happiness after experiencing such pain when others could not. It's almost as if we feel we owe the world something for being alive. But what many don't realize is that holding onto this guilt can be harmful to our well-being. We all deserve the chance to live a fulfilling life, regardless of what happened in the past. 

As with Shame and Toxic Positivity, you can’t ignore the feelings. You have to address them or the problem will get worse.

THE BOTTOM LINE: When someone is suffering, they need to know that their emotions are valid, and they can find relief and love in their friends and family. 

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD