When Survival Takes the Wheel: Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

When your brain senses danger, it doesn’t wait for your permission. It makes a split-second call to keep you alive. That reaction is automatic. Let me say that again. You don’t choose your survival response. It’s not weakness, overreaction, or “losing control.” It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was designed to do.
This automatic reaction comes from the amygdala (your brain’s alarm center) and the brain stem (your autopilot). They work together like a security system on overdrive. When something feels unsafe, the brain floods your body with adrenaline and cortisol (stress hormones) that crank up your heart rate, sharpen your senses, and get you ready for action or protection.

These survival responses are most commonly known as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Let’s break each one down

Fight: Survival Looks Like Anger

When the brain believes it can overpower a threat, it flips the fight switch. The amygdala sees danger and sends the message: “Push back or you’ll get hurt.”
This can look like:

• Quick temper or irritability
• Defensive body language
• Feeling “on guard” or the urge to prove yourself
• Urge to yell, argue, or physically lash out

The fight response is about protecting yourself and trying to regain control.


Flight: Surviving Means Escape

When the brain senses danger but decides fighting isn’t worth the risk, it chooses speed over strength. The goal is to get away, and your brain says, “Run.”

This can look like:

• Feeling trapped or needing to leave suddenly
• Panic or racing thoughts
• Trouble sitting still
• Always scanning for exits or escape routes

The flight response is your body trying to get you away from danger.


Freeze: Surviving by Shutting Down

If neither fighting nor fleeing feels possible, the brain pulls the emergency brake. The body locks up, and everything slows down. The brain says, “If I can’t stop it, maybe I can survive it.”

This might look like:

• Going blank or zoning out
• Feeling disconnected from your body
• Trouble speaking or moving
• Feeling numb, foggy, or “not really there”

The freeze response is a way to minimize damage. Freezing is your body’s version of playing dead until the danger passes.


Fawn: Survival Means Being The Peacemaker

If fighting, fleeing, or freezing all feel dangerous, the brain may choose submission. You go along to get along, because safety sometimes means keeping the peace.

This is more often than not a learned behavior. In many traumatic environments (especially childhood abuse or long-term coercion) resistance wasn’t an option. The brain learned that safety came from keeping others calm or happy.

This can look like:

• People-pleasing to avoid conflict
• Difficulty setting boundaries
• Changing your behavior to be accepted
• Saying “yes” when you want to say “no”

The fawn response is emotional camouflage, often learned through experience. It’s a way of staying safe when standing up or running away wasn’t possible.

You Didn’t Choose This

After trauma, we often blame ourselves: “I should have fought back. I should have stayed calm. I should have run.” This self-judgment comes from our thinking brain critiquing decisions our survival brain made in microseconds. The reality? During trauma, your body chooses for you. Understanding this transforms “What’s wrong with me?” into “My brain was protecting me the only way it knew how.” The truth is simple. There is nothing wrong with you. Your body did exactly what it was built to do. It kept you alive.

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“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

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Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD,  

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD,

or After the Call, A First Responder’s Guide to PTSD

Your New Year Reset: Using Movement to Calm a Stressed Nervous System

Resolution season is here. Every January, our social media feed fills with “new year, new you” messages promising transformation through fitness, diets, and discipline. 

For people struggling with PTSD, that message has some truth to it. We just have to adjust the meaning of transformation. See, this isn't about going to the gym and dieting to get a bathing suit-ready body by summer kind of thing. For a body that’s been living in survival mode, the kind of movement we're suggesting is less about changing how you look (though that could happen) and more about releasing stress and reprograming your nervous system. 

Exercise, or even gentle movements, can be a powerful way to calm an overactive nervous system.  

How Movement Helps After Trauma or Chronic Stress

Trauma and chronic stress don’t just live in the mind; they hijack the nervous system and seep into every part of the body. When you’ve lived in survival mode for too long, your body forgets what safety feels like. The nervous system learns that calm is temporary, so even when life finally quiets down, the alarms keep humming in the background.

You end up feeling tired but wired, anxious but numb, always waiting for something bad to happen.

Therapy can help reset those patterns, but it’s not always immediately available. Sometimes the waitlists are long. Sometimes the cost is too high. And sometimes, you’re just not ready to talk about what happened yet. That’s where movement comes in. Whether it’s used alongside therapy or on its own while you search for the right therapist, movement can help untangle what’s stuck.

Because stress lives in the body, it needs a physical outlet to release. Your muscles, fascia, and even your gut can hold on to tension like old echoes of past danger. Movement helps interrupt those signals and retrain the brain to recognize, “We’re safe now.”

Movement doesn’t erase trauma. Think of it more like loosening knots before you try to untangle a string. You’re creating space for healing to begin.

Why Movement Works

 

1. It releases stored energy

When you’re chronically braced for danger (fight or flight), that nervous energy stays trapped in the body, leading to restlessness, anxiety, tight muscles, headaches, or a clenched jaw. Movement gives your body a way to discharge that energy.

2. It re-teaches safety through repetition

Gentle, rhythmic movements like swaying or rocking signal to the body that it is safe to relax in the same way that rocking calms a fussy baby. Intentional repetitive motions, especially in structured classes like yoga, martial arts, or dance, reinforce the mind-body connection, creating a feeling of being grounded and in control.  

3. It reduces nervous system overreaction

Regular aerobic activity can train the body to better manage stress by offering predictable and non-threatening ways to increase heart rate and respiration. Over time, this helps desensitize the nervous system and reduce the chronic state of high alert.

4. It rebuilds awareness of your body

Becoming numb or disconnected is common after trauma. Mindful movement practices that combine repetitive movement with deep breathing calm and soothe the nervous system. These slow, gentle movements draw focus to where sensations are felt in the body. Over time, this helps you reconnect with your body's internal cues and rhythms.

5. It balances hormones

Exercise helps reset cortisol cycles that chronic stress disrupts. It also triggers the release of endorphins, dopamine, and norepinephrine (our natural “feel-good” chemicals) which can decrease feelings of anxiety while helping to regulate mood, appetite, and sleep.

 

Movement Practices That Help

Different kinds of movement speak to the nervous system in different ways. There’s no single right one.

 

Gentle, rhythmic movement (for awareness and grounding)

• Walking or hiking

• Yoga or Tai Chi

• Dance lessons

• Conscious breathwork

• Gardening

 

Strong, intentional movement (for discharge)

• Weightlifting or resistance training

• Running

• Boxing or martial arts

• Swimming

• Cycling

 

Creative movement (for expression)

• Dancing

• Art or crafting (painting, sculpting, drawing)

• Drumming

• Journaling or creative writing

 

Movement isn’t about being athletic or fit. It’s about giving your nervous system a safe outlet to process what it’s been holding. The key is consistency, not intensity. You don’t need to train for a marathon or overhaul your lifestyle. Research shows that moderate, enjoyable movement a few times a week can reduce anxiety and improve mood as effectively as more strenuous workouts.

Find a form of movement that you genuinely enjoy and can look forward to. When the activity itself feels rewarding, motivation comes naturally.

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Looking for support? 

Join our Community on Facebook!

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“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

*****

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD,  

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD,

or After the Call, A First Responder’s Guide to PTSD

Healthy Boundaries for the Holidays

 

Let's start with a primer: Family knows how to push your buttons because they installed them. 

Going to our families of origin for the holiday season can be stressful and kick up a lot of anxiety triggers. The best way to get a hold of our anxiety and feel grounded and centered is to review boundaries.

Healthy boundaries are the ultimate form of self-respect because they say to the world, "I deserve to be honored, respected, and valued." Boundaries denote confidence. 

Since confidence is one of the casualties of PTSD, we likely have to relearn (or maybe learn for the first time) how to make a healthy and reasonable boundary, how to maintain that boundary, and what to do if someone chooses to ignore it. 

Making healthy boundaries seems like it should be easy and intuitive, but it's not. So let's start.

1. Healthy boundaries make healthy relationships

There is no such thing as a healthy relationship without boundaries, whether it's a marriage, a friend, a colleague, or the relationship that you have with your kids. Healthy boundaries say I deserve to be honored respected and valued and this is important for any healthy interpersonal relationship.

2. People do not know our boundaries unless we state them clearly and succinctly

In a perfect world, people should know how to act, but this is not a thing. Some people think that offensive comments are okay some people don't understand that unsolicited touching is creepy. Let's not waste time getting mad about what "should" be. Instead, let's remember that half the people we meet are below average and common sense is not common. Boundaries are not intuitive. Therefore, we must State our boundaries clearly and concisely, out loud, to other people.

3. Reasonable people respect reasonable boundaries

The inherent problem with this is that not all people are reasonable. Sad news of the day. The world is full of psychopaths and assholes. 

4. It's our boundary, and their choice

We create healthy boundaries, and then we have absolutely no control over other people or how they act. When we state or healthy boundaries, out loud, clearly and concisely, other people then choose whether they want to respect our boundaries or not.

This is hard to hear, so I'm saying this with a lot of love and empathy: when people choose to ignore our reasonable boundaries, they are saying in no uncertain terms, loud and clear, I do not respect you and I do not want a relationship with you that is not on my terms. No exceptions.

Boundaries are vital to relapse prevention for PTSD. You can read more about boundaries in The Soldier's Guide to PTSD and Acknowledge & Heal.

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Looking for support? 

Join our Community on Facebook!

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“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

*****

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD,  

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD,

or After the Call, A First Responder’s Guide to PTSD