Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying, which is a modern form of social bullying, has introduced another level of unique concerns which have significant impacts on children:  

·         The current social media environment increases the spread of hurtful information or harassment beyond the local community setting.

·         Digital devices offer an ability to immediately and continuously communicate making it difficult for children to find relief from online harassment.

·         Most information communicated electronically is permanent and public, if not reported and removed.

·         A negative online reputation can impact college admissions, employment, and other areas of life.

·         Teachers and parents may not overhear or see cyberbullying taking place, making it harder to recognize unless reported. 

Research shows that females use more relational aggression, while males engage in physical bullying.

Gender stereotypes play a role in bullying because they directly influence the socialization of young children into gender roles. Males are socialized to be strong and independent, while females are socialized to be understanding and sensitive. We’re not saying that females won’t be physically aggressive or boys won’t exclude others, but the statistics seem to follow the gender trends. 

The 2019 School Crime Supplement (SBS) to the National Crime Victimization Survey (National Center for Education Statistics and Bureau of Justice) shows that, nationwide, about 22% of students ages 12–18 experienced bullying. 

The 2019 Youth Risk Behavior SurveillanceSystem (YRBS) shows that, nationwide, 19.5% of students in grades 9–12 report being bullied on school property in the 12 months preceding the survey.

Females tend to bully other people indirectly or by using social or relational aggression. This type of bullying includes verbal assaults, ostracizing, spreading rumors, and gossiping. One of the biggest problems with this type of bullying is the ability to disguise their actions through passive-aggressive behavior, which makes this type of bullying more difficult to spot. 

In general, girls do not bully on their own, they tend to belong to a group, where everyone follows shares in the behavior. Remember Mean Girls, the 2004 American teen comedy film directed by Mark Waters and written by Tina Fey? That’s exactly the type of clique-style bullying we’re talking about here. 

Because of the socially geared nature of the female gender, or those identifying as female, many young girls engage in bullying because of peer pressure and the desire to be part of the popular group. Girls may also engage in relational aggression as a result of jealousy, low self-esteem, boredom, or learned behavior from others. 

Females also experience sexual bullying more than males. This includes spreading rumors of sexual activity and direct sexual harassment. 

Sexting—sending or receiving sexually explicit messages or images between electronic devices—is becoming increasingly common. Research shows that among kids between the ages of 11 and 17, 15% of them sent sexts and 27% received sexts; the prevalence of the behavior increases as adolescents age.

When sexts are sent without consent, such as when private nude photos or videos of an individual are widely shared among a peer group, it can lead to sexual bullying and even sexual assault.

The impact of being exposed to this cyberbullying comes with potential long-lasting consequences. Those who have been on the receiving end of bullying often develop hyperarousal symptoms, feeling like they could be attacked or criticized at any time. Even if the abuse stops, they may live in anticipation and fear, waiting for the next incident to occur. This combination of restless feelings may lead to performance decline, isolation behaviors, and low self-esteem. 

Have you or a loved one experienced cyberbullying? We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Bullying and PTSD

Bullying, also known as peer victimization, is an Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE). ACEs are potentially traumatic events that can have negative, lasting effects on a person's development, the way they interact with others, and how they perform in school. 

Bullying is aggressive behavior, often seen among school-aged children (but can also happen during adulthood), that involves inflicting of social, emotional, physical, and/or psychological harm to someone who often is perceived as being less powerful. 

There are three types of bullying:

·         Verbal bullying includes

Teasing

Name-calling

Inappropriate sexual comments

Taunting

Threatening to cause harm

·         Social bullying involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships and includes in person and online interactions:

Leaving someone out on purpose

Telling other children not to be friends with someone

Spreading rumors about someone

Embarrassing someone in public

Sharing personal or private information about someone

·         Physical bullying involves hurting a person or their possessions.

          Hitting/kicking/pinching

Spitting

Tripping/pushing

Taking or breaking someone’s things

Making mean or rude hand gestures 

Bullying can occur during or after school hours. While most reported bullying happens in the school building, a significant percentage also happens in places like the playground or the school bus. It can also happen travelling to or from school, in the child’s neighborhood, or on the Internet. 

Bullying can cut to the core of our fundamental belief systems about ourselves, others, and the world, and good therapy can help us overcome these scars.

How did bullying affect you? We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Childhood Trauma and Mental Health

Childhood trauma is strongly associated with developing mental health problems. We mentioned earlier that Complex PTSD was also linked to ongoing and relational trauma, especially when the trauma begins during a person’s youth. We expect that many of the adults reading this book will find the experiences we’re about to cover of particular interest. 

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) is the term used to describe the types of abuse, neglect, or other potentially traumatic experiences that can happen to a person under the age of 18. 

Trauma can come from a variety of experiences. Common examples of trauma that children and adolescents can experience include things like:

·         Sexual Abuse / Rape

·         Neglect

·         Emotional Abuse / Narcissistic Parent

·         School Violence / Bullying

·         Natural Disasters

·         Military-Family Related Stressors

·         Sudden or Violent Loss of A Loved One

·         Serious Accidents

·         Life-Threatening Illnesses 

NPR has a basic Adverse Childhood Experiences quiz you can take as a sample self-assessment to get started on your healing journey. Please note, this sample quiz is not a replacement for an actual therapeutic assessment. It does, however, provide some good background information. There are other resources available in our new book Acknowledge and Heal: A Women-Focused Guide To Understanding PTSD.  

It is important to recognize that upsetting experiences are not always traumatic. Divorce, for example, is an upsetting experience for children. It can create a feeling of abandonment or parental loss in a child, but the divorce alone is not necessarily traumatizing. How the parents handle the divorce, however, can be. If one parent attempts to use the child as a pawn with the other parent, that can create a traumatic situation for the child. Situational context is important.

In most cases of abuse, it is the caregiver who is identified as the perpetrator - someone the child knows and relies on for care: a parent, teacher, religious leader, coach, or family physician. This includes direct abuse and/or negligence in reporting abuse involving a child and caregiver.  

We should also note that many children who are exposed to potentially traumatic events may experience initial distress, but it is short-lived. In the case of PTSD, it is the duration of symptoms that categorize the disorder. That is not to downplay the seriousness of trauma. Again, context is important.

We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

The 11th: Buddy Check Day

The 11th day of each month is Buddy Check Day reminding us to check in with other veterans. By getting in touch with others, we can enjoy camaraderie, check on each other’s well-being, and maybe even connect another veteran with a service they can use.

Buddy Check can be as simple as picking up the phone, talking, texting, or visiting.

Buddy Check Day is a great opportunity for veterans to connect with each other, and for other community members to reach out and connect with veterans.

It promotes camaraderie and connectedness. It also serves as an opportunity to educate folks on issues that are relevant to veterans across Texas and to educate folks on the services that are available to veterans.

We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

"Tend and Befriend" - A Common Trauma Reaction

Men and women cope with stress differently. Studies have found that men typically respond to stressful or threatening situations with “fight or flight” (and sometimes freeze). Women, however, are more likely to respond with “tend and befriend.” 

Tending involves taking care of people.

Befriending is the process of reaching out to people to create a network of support. 

In simple terms, women are wired toward protecting, calming, and befriending in stressful situations as a method of diffusing rather than reacting by fight, flight, or freeze. This biological-behavioral response is at the core of our maternal instinct and stems from primitive reactions to threats, including predators, assaults, natural disasters, and any other threats to self and offspring. 

To paraphrase a study by Shelley Taylor, et al.,  if we consider a situation where a mother and her child are in danger; fighting and running is not a viable option. The mother cannot fight and ensure the safety of her child at the same time. She also cannot run away at top speed while dragging or carrying a child. In this case, they are both at higher risk of danger. However, by seeking help, the mother and child have a better chance of survival. Safety in numbers. We all know this phrase. But, more than that, it is believed to be ingrained in our chemical response to stress. This instinct has been passed down, through the principle of natural selection, through subsequent generations. 

A woman’s “tend and befriend” instincts can create a reliance on the support of others during stressful or threatening situations. In this case, it may make them more vulnerable to experiencing PTSD symptoms, especially if they feel rejected, abandoned, or isolated from their support network. 

Acknowledge and Heal: A Women-Focused Guide To Understanding PTSD is a new resource available to learn more about trauma reactions to PTSD. Have you experienced this trauma reaction? We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD