PTSD & Alcohol: Holiday Check-In

 

For some of us, the holidays get boozy. And I get it: this year has been really hard, and the holidays can be an opportunity to let loose. 

But for those of us with a PTSD diagnosis, it never hurts to pause and consider if our drug and alcohol use is moving into problem territory. The reason for this is that PTSD is one of those disorders that always comes to the party with friends. The most common co-occurring disorders that I see with military Veterans who have PTSD are anxiety, depression, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and drug and alcohol abuse. 

Drug and alcohol abuse make a lot of sense in the context of PTSD. Criterion C of PTSD is avoidance, and drinking and drugging help us to avoid our feelings. Criterion D is all about changes in the way we think and feel, and alcohol and drugs can play a major role in this. Of course, alcohol is a big part of military culture. It is what it is. 

If you're wondering if your drinking has gone too far, you have nothing to lose by checking out a community recovery meeting online. One of the few good things to come out of the pandemic is that the recovery community (AA, NA, etc.) has largely shifted online and will probably stay this way. The barrier to entry has been completely removed, and our excuses for not going to a meeting are no longer valid. 

Having Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) online means that instead of going to the chapel basement for a meeting, you can log into Zoom. The meeting you attend can be based in your city or in another country, so the likelihood that you're going to run into someone you know is significantly diminished. You can change your name in a Zoom room, and put up a photo rather than using your camera. 

I understand why people don't like 12-step programs. There are horrible meetings and miserable sponsors. There are also great meetings and highly supportive sponsors. Another perk of Zoom is that if you don't like the meeting you're in, you can click out of it; you can leave when you want to.

If you've been on the fence about going to an AA or NA program, now is the time to pull the trigger. Do a Google search for AA online or NA online to find a meeting. 

One thing to know about 12-step meetings is that when a meeting says it is closed that means that it is not welcoming students, clinicians, or family members. This means that if you have a desire to stop drinking or stop using, you are welcome to a closed meeting. This is known as the "third tradition," and it's incredibly important. 

Has recovery worked for you? We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Keeping Things in Perspective: Holiday Edition

 

The holiday season is here and there is a lot going on right now. For many of us (including me) life feels overwhelming,  everything feels phenomenally expensive, and our "to do" lists are never-ending. On top of this, the world is a bit... crazy.

How can we stay grounded in a crazy world and keep first things first? Let's start with perspective. 

My favorite version of the Serenity Prayer goes like this: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know that that is me." 

It's a short prayer, but there is a lot packed in it. Serenity, acceptance, courage, and wisdom are simple concepts, but they are not easy. In order to find serenity, or peace, I have to practice recognizing what is and is not in my control (again, this is simple but not easy). 

In this overwhelming season, I have been reaching out and connecting with others - and it has helped. 

I can get stuck in my own head and lure myself into a self-condemnation spiral easily. I have a strong therapy group I'm in and I work hard to surround myself with supportive people. My support network took a while to build, and here are some resources we can access from the comfort of our own homes right now:

Warmlines are peer-run listening lines staffed by people in mental health recovery themselves. Sometimes, we all need someone to listen but we know that a call to a crisis line may not be appropriate. Warmlines fill this gap. Here is a directory of warmlines across the U.S. 

12-step programs are powerful in terms of providing social support and accountability, and there are anonymous groups for any number of addictions. In addition to AA, NA, and Al-Anon, Codependents Anonymous (CoDA) is a powerful change agent, as are groups for Gambling and Survivors of Incest. Not everyone is a fan of the program, and I get it – there are plenty of lousy groups and crappy sponsors. There are also dynamic, inspiring groups and amazing sponsors. Since the pandemic, many groups have gone online and meetings are on Zoom. Here is the line to AA Online Intergroup for a list of online meetings. (The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking).

Support groups bring together people who are going through similar experiences. Visitors are welcome to share as little or as much as they like. Support groups can be powerful because it reminds us that we are not alone and that others have also persevered through challenges. Support groups can help us feel less isolated, especially when we can relate to others in a similar situation. NAMI.org lists support groups for mental health issues and SAMHSA.gov lists many resources for alcohol and substance use, as well as mental health and other important topics. Survivors of Loved Ones' Suicides (SOLOS) is an especially powerful peer-led support group.

Online groups. Full disclosure: I have not fully leapt into the 90s in terms of keeping up with social media, but I am impressed at the amount of social support my clients have found available online in chat forums and social media groups. To find one, try using a search term like “online support group PTSD." 

F   Friend, this is a batty season for lots of folks - you are not alone. And what do you have to lose by trying one of the suggestions here?

How are you keeping first things first right now? We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

PTSD and Dissociation

 

Dissociation is a 50-cent word that means "disconnection," and PTSD can definitely make us feel disconnected from ourselves. Many times when we dissociate we don't realize we are doing it, and it is often brought to our attention by others who see us "in a trance" or "somewhere else."  

This disconnection can look different to everyone. Here's some common examples:

• An "out of body experience" as if we are watching ourselves from the outside
• Like we are on "autopilot" 
• Intense emotions that feel like they come out of "nowhere" 
• Feeling sad or anxious “for no reason"
• Inability to remember what we did for a period of time
• Feeling emotionally or physically numb
• Being told by others that we look like we go into a "trance" or "somewhere else"
• Disconnection from physical surroundings
• Feeling like the world does not feel "real" (or feeling like we are in a dream or in a movie)
• Unintentional dissociation while doing another task, like driving or working
• Not recognizing ourselves in the mirror
• Confusion

Dissociation is generally linked back to trauma. It’s our brain's way of trying to cope through avoidance, and is an expected symptom of PTSD.  

So let's talk about how to cope with dissociative episodes. This means that we will be working to reduce "spacing out" and help ourselves be more mindful in general. We will focus on being in the present moment.  

Mindfulness Tools 

Controlled Breathing. My favorite tool is called "box breathing" and here is a 2-minute video to help. For this, we will breathe in, hold the breath, breathe out, and hold the breath again. The Navy Seals reportedly do this, and you can, too - here is an article to show you how.

Mindfulness Task. Every one of us probably has one task at work or home that we do mindlessly, like washing the dishes or preparing something. For this task, be intentional and notice how your body feels and take your time to pay close attention to physical sensations throughout your body. While doing this simple task mindfully...

Use Your Five Senses. Name 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell and 1 thing you taste. You can do this during your mindfulness task. This video is helpful to get started.

Journal. Try to recall your day in detail and make a point to notice any dissociations that may have occurred during the day. Then try to remember any thoughts or emotions you experienced before, during, or after the dissociative episode. Perhaps you experienced a trigger before the episode or you recognized you were dissociating while you were doing it. Learning to recognize these episodes is the first step

Remember, the goal is not to clear your mind or stop thinking, but it is to become more aware of our thoughts and feelings rather than getting lost in them. There is no such thing as a "drive through breakthrough" so be easy on yourself during this process. It's about progress, not perfection.

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Veterans Day weekend Buddy Check

 

Team, this weekend is going to be hard. It's Veterans Day weekend and our Facebook feeds will be full of pictures and tributes to those we've lost to combat and to suicide. And it is hard. I'm not here to force-feed you some rah-rah message about how life can change; I'm here to stand with you - because this weekend consistently sucks every single year and we need each other right now. 

Please do your buddy checks this weekend, and nag the shit out of the people you love. Make sure they are okay! Having people who care for us and believe in us can can make all the difference in our ability to cope with and recover from difficult events.

I've never met a combat Vet who lost more buddies to war than they did to suicide, and that's not okay. Rather than doing 22 push-ups, I encourage you to pick up the phone and call someone to check in. 

If you learn that your battle buddy is in trouble, here's how to get help: call the Veterans Crisis Line at 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1 or send a text to 838255. You can text the crisis line while you are on the phone. Ask you buddy where they are located, who is with them, and whether or not they have a weapon. Pass this info on to the crisis line; they will send emergency services. 

I know that no one wants to piss off their buddy, but no one wants another dead buddy either - so choose your battles. The single most loving thing anyone ever did for me personally was stage an all-out intervention; it saved my life. 

Please consider sharing this info. Thanks, Team - stay safe out there.

TL;DR: call your battle buddy, and if they need it, get them help!

AND YOU - if you're in this head space, talk to someone now - like right now. Call your buddy, call the crisis line, do whatever it takes to hang on until this feeling passes because the world would not be better off without you.

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Strategic Resilience for Mental Health

 

A person's mental and emotional well-being is essential for a healthy life. When individuals struggle with mental illness or substance abuse, it profoundly affects all aspects of their lives and the people they care about.

When discussing mental health, another term often arises: resilience. We discussed this concept last week when we dispelled the myth that those with PTSD are "not resilient."

Resilience is not an innate quality; it is developed through facing challenges and overcoming adversity throughout one's lifetime. However, being resilient does not mean that a person is immune to difficulties or distress in their life. It means that they have the ability to adapt in the face of trauma, tragedy, and threats.

Remember that word, adapt. It’s a verb, an action word. It means we have to do something.

To promote resilience, we have to develop protective factors like exercise, a healthy diet, a healthy sleep schedule, good communication, and most important of them all, a healthy support network. 

We may not always be able to sleep eight hours, stick to a healthy diet, or maintain a good schedule at the gym. Life happens when we make our best plans, so those can’t be the only strategies we turn to. 

Resilience is active, right? So we need to move to the next item on our list. A healthy support network.

When we’re struggling and in need of help, we have to communicate our needs. And that’s where having a healthy support network comes in. There’s not enough sleeping or eating right in the world that is going to fortify a person against the effects of trauma. To borrow a phrase, “it takes a village.” 

When there are people ready and willing to step in and help (peers, partners, friends, and/or family), you are better able to cope with difficult situations. Social support has been shown to reduce our level of stress during troubling situations. And knowing someone “has your back” creates the opening to do the hardest thing possible. It allows you to be open and ask for help when you need it.

Remember, resilience isn’t “toughing it out through the worst situations”. It’s having a strategy and support system in place...and using it when you need it.

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD