Rumors about PTSD that are NOT true

 

Unfortunately, there are many rumors about PTSD that are NOT true, and here is one we hear often: "People who have a history of trauma cannot be high-functioning members of society." Let's talk about why this is a load of bull:

When we define trauma and what someone with a trauma history looks like, we often miss out on seeing the truth of their personal history. We expect to see someone showing some form of self-destructive behavior in an attempt to self-sooth. But that is not always the case. 

Trauma is often thought of as an isolated event: a car crash, sexual assault, or maybe something happening during military service. While singular events can be traumatic, we’re ignoring a whole host of ongoing situations and relational traumas a person can experience. Many of which are outlined in Acknowledge and Heal: A Women-Focused Guide To Understanding PTSD 

When a person is exposed to ongoing trauma, their mind tries to adapt. It’s the brain’s job to keep us alive, so in situations where we cannot escape our trauma, the brain switches from fight or flight, or to a more adaptive "tend and befriend" mode, allowing us to remain as safe as possible in the ongoing traumatic situation. 

In short, we develop coping mechanisms to keep everything peaceful. And, as long as things are relatively calm in our lives, we appear “normal.” 

In some cases, our focus is shifted outward, toward the things we can control: grades, promotions, seeking independence, and financial security. Many trauma survivors become fiercely independent because of the betrayal of the trauma they experienced left them knowing the only person they could rely on was themselves (e.g. a former child of abusive or neglectful parents). To a spectator, these individuals seem like they have it all together. They couldn’t possibly be struggling with PTSD, right? 

Wrong. 

If they have had to lean on self-sufficiency for survival, it is likely that by the time they desperately need help, they have perfected their mask of indifference and fortified their emotional barriers to the point that they have become reflexes. No longer aware of the walls they throw up, these people can be very difficult to diagnose. 

Either way the pendulum swings, self-destructive or super high-functioning, the person who has experienced trauma (singular or ongoing) is attempting to compensate for it. And that may work for them for many years, until it doesn’t. 

The bottom line is that being outwardly high-functioning and needing trauma recovery work are not mutually exclusive. Just because someone appears to be high functioning, it doesn’t mean they don’t suffer.

What is your experience with high-functioning PTSD? 

We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

Surviving the July 4th celebration with a Narcissistic Family

Holidays are a time when family gets together to celebrate, and July 4th (at least in America) is the biggest mid-year celebration and a reason many families will get together. 

But for those of us who grew up in narcissistic families, this makes any gathering a time we dread. 

First understand what narcissism is and how the disorder presents. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a psychological personality disorder, defined by The DSM-5, characterized by an inflated sense of one’s own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.  

Because we’re not diagnosing anyone in this blog, we won’t go into the lengthy definition of this disorder. What we want to focus on, however, are the key traits, because they do an excellent job illustrating how this disorder applies to the abuse that narcissistic caregivers can cause us. 

Lack Of Empathy 

In other words. The narcissist neither cares nor wants to understand how other people feel. 

Grandiose Sense Of Self-Importance 

In other words. The narcissist lives in a fantasy world of their own creation. One where they are the center of attention and the most important person. 

Need For Excessive Admiration 

In other words. The narcissist is often covering for some deep emotional wound, and in order to avoid the pain of it, they constantly need praise and approval to keep their spirits up. With this trait, the person with NPD will surround themselves with others who constantly boost their ego. They do not; however, reciprocate. 

Sense Of Entitlement 

In other words. The narcissist expects favorable treatment. Those who do not meet their expectations are treated with aggression and outrage. 

Exploitative Behavior 

In other words. The narcissist will only surround themselves with people who do and say what they want. This becomes their standard. Their circle exists to serve them, and they do not think twice about using their people to get what they want. 

Envious Of Others 

In other words. The narcissist may patronize or dismiss the value of others whom they are secretly envious of. Or they attack with insults, bullying, or other forms of character assassination to neutralize the threat.

Whether you deal with these toxic family members on a regular basis or have to brave a family get together, lets have a plan so we can avoid seriously derailing our mental and emotional health this holiday season.

Accept that they haven’t changed: 

Let's face it, trying to reason with a narcissist is like trying to teach a fish how to ride a bicycle. It's pointless and only leads to more frustration. Instead, sit back and observe their antics like you're watching a soap opera.

Limit the time you spend with them:

Don't be afraid to put your foot down and limit your time with these toxic individuals. Make it clear that you have other commitments (even if it's just Netflix) and stick to your guns. If they get upset with that, that's OK because that's your boundary that you're setting. 

Find the people you enjoy being around:

Maybe you have a narcissistic father, but you really love being around your nieces or nephews. Try to find time with those specific people or loved ones that are most important to you. 

Set realistic expectations: 

Let go of any expectations of a perfect family gathering because let's be real, when has that ever happened? Embrace imperfection and focus on enjoying yourself however you can.

Make time for you:

Don't forget to take care of yourself amidst all the chaos. Sneak away for some alone time or treat yourself to something special. You deserve it.

*****

Did you survive a narcissistic caregiver? 

We value your feedback and ideas! Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD

June is PTSD Awareness Month

PTSD is often misunderstood and surrounded by harmful rumors that can prevent people from seeking the help they need. One of these rumors is that those who develop PTSD are "not resilient" or "damaged goods." 

This harmful idea suggests that only certain individuals are susceptible to developing PTSD, based on their past experiences or perceived level of resilience.

But the truth is, trauma can affect anyone. It is a highly individual experience, and what may be traumatic for one person may not be for another. No amount of happy childhood memories or previous traumas can protect someone from experiencing PTSD.

Furthermore, this damaging rumor perpetuates the notion that individuals with PTSD should just "bounce back" quickly. 

But the reality is, healing from trauma takes time and support. It is a process, not a quick fix.

Believing in this rumor can also have serious consequences. When people in need of help fear being labeled as "weak" or "damaged," they are less likely to seek the support and treatment they deserve. And this can lead to devastating outcomes.

Not seeking help can have disastrous effects. (These statistics are based on the U.S. population): 

• About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will develop PTSD at some point during their life 

• About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%) 

• Among people who have had a diagnosis of PTSD in their lifetime, approximately 27% have also attempted suicide 

•  Women with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are nearly seven times more likely than other women to die by suicide 

• The average time between PTSD diagnosis and suicide was less than two and a half years 

It's time to debunk this harmful myth and start supporting those who are dealing with the effects of trauma. Let's not add to their burden by blaming them for their struggles. Instead, let's offer compassion, understanding, and resources to help them heal.

If you've been affected by harmful rumors about PTSD, know that you're not alone.  Remember, there is no shame in seeking help and working toward healing. Let's break the stigma surrounding mental health together. 

*****

We value your feedback and ideas! 

Reach out on our Community Facebook Page!

*****

“If you believe change is possible, you want to change, and you are willing to do the work, you absolutely CAN get your life back.”

Get your copy of The Soldier's Guide to PTSD, The Soldier's Workbook, 

or Acknowledge & Heal, A Women's-Focused Guide to PTSD